erics emotion

Maybe iapos;m just very upset because iapos;m stressed and have my period. I have a lot of work to do the next week but I think just doing it and getting a lot of sleep and some exercise will do me good.

Friday night I hung out with the girls from McCarthy for awhile then went over to Patapos;s. We sat in his room listening to Broken Social Scene and smoking cigarettes and just talking until 2 am. Heapos;s like a girlfriend, i donapos;t know how i feel about it. Thereapos;s literally no chemistry at all but we hang out everyday. I really want to have chemistry with a boy... Maybe Iapos;ll meet a cute one on my floor that can also help me with my homework. I just want to find someone i can be excited about.

Decided to go to Philly yesterday and Iapos;m really glad i did even though Iapos;m more sick than i was and i didnapos;t get any work done. The party was really fun, I met nick hariban and heapos;s pretty sweet. Seeing everyone was really nice and I love jill and jake together it makes me hopeful. And steve Ide just makes me smile. I wish i had courage. And i wish that dave was there. And that i didnapos;t sleep in a closet because i have random bruises all over.

I hate how in the city you canapos;t smile at someone because they automatically think you want to fuck them. Even if theyapos;re 50 years old, or fat as hell. It bothers me that men think they can tell me they want me and iapos;ll fall to my knees with joy. It seems to only happen in the city too, when I smile at a man in the supermarket or something back home they know Iapos;m just being nice, a smile can go a long way.

I hope there is something great to do Friday because iapos;ll need it after this week. I feel good about things lately.

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